Absolutely Serious    

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO—Mexican President Felipe Calderon signed a bill today, radically overhauling Mexico’s immigration system, in an attempt to stem the flow of American vacationers pouring over the border. Supporters of the bill say that immigration reform in Mexico was long overdue, and that the new policy will “close off the borders to the greedy gringos.”

Crowds gathered in the Mexican capital to celebrate the new bill, holding up signs that said “no more pasty white gringos!” and “it’s our home, not a giant frat party for drunk college kids!” referring to the thousands of Americans who flood Mexico’s beaches every year in search of relaxation and debauchery.

Critics of the bill warned that closing the border off to Americans would stop the flow of American money into Mexico’s thriving tourism industry. “These are vacations that Mexicans simply won’t take. Unfortunately, Mexicans want to work all the time. If the Americans don’t visit our resorts, then nobody will.”

Some observers have speculated that the measure was a political retaliation for the anti-immigrant rhetoric by politicians and anti-immigration activists in the U.S. A late attempt at a compromise between Calderon and President Bush would have allowed a “worker for vacationer” exchange program, but the deal was derailed at the last minute by nativist forces in both countries.