WILDERNESS, SD—A New York couple’s quest to live a completely ‘green’ lifestyle has come to an end. Chris and Suzy Zelton, a married couple from Manhattan moved to the South Dakota wilderness in a bid to show people that it’s possible to lead a “zero footprint” life, a lifestyle where their actions would have a […]
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Filed under: Science & Technology
BALTIMORE, MD—An innocent night on the town turned traumatic Friday night for Canton resident Alex Shafely when he and a friend, Shaun Livingston, ventured to the Mt. Vernon neighborhood for a night of fun. Leaving the confines of Canton for the first time since moving to Baltimore in June, Shafely chose to ignore his friends’ […]
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Filed under: Baltimore
BAGHDAD, IRAQ—A recent survey taken by the Pentagon revealed that U.S. troops stationed in Iraq are content to keep fighting as long as Americans back home show their support with yellow magnetic ribbons attached to the trunks of their cars.
General Meyerson, who oversaw the survey, said that the army takes soldier morale very seriously. “There […]
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Filed under: Politics
1. Stay active and energized. Really energized. In life there are no shortcuts to a more active lifestyle, but in West Baltimore there is cocaine. Snort, smoke, or shoot the good stuff whenever you feel down. This will keep your spirits high and increase your energy for a more active lifestyle.
2. Don’t overeat. The best […]
MEXICO CITY, MEXICO—Mexican President Felipe Calderon signed a bill today, radically overhauling Mexico’s immigration system, in an attempt to stem the flow of American vacationers pouring over the border. Supporters of the bill say that immigration reform in Mexico was long overdue, and that the new policy will “close off the borders to the greedy […]
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Filed under: World
BALTIMORE, MD—The battle for the coolest neighborhood in Baltimore turned bloody this weekend when a Federal Hill resident shot and killed a Canton man during a dispute over which neighborhood is “cooler.” According to witnesses, the two men, John Taylor and Russ Simpson, had been enjoying Miller Lite together at Max’s on Broadway, a bar […]
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Filed under: Baltimore
CUSCO, PERU—Cameron Diaz just can’t win these days. The American actress, who was criticized last week for carrying a Maoist handbag in a country that suffered years of fighting with communist rebels, managed to find a handbag even more offensive: a purse made from a hollowed-out Indian head.
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Filed under: World
BALTIMORE, MD—Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon announced Saturday morning that the new Baltimore Chief of Police will be Mr. Natty Boh. The announcement ends a months-long search for a city police commissioner and marks Dixon’s first major move as Mayor.
Mr. Boh, whose popularity
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Filed under: Baltimore
