Absolutely Serious    

RESTON, VA—A study released today by comScore, a company that analyzes trends in the digital world, found that 97% of all blogs are completely unreadable. Researchers came to their conclusion after sorting through thousands of blogs looking for anything interesting, a task which proved more difficult than expected.

“You can’t go a day now without hearing about blogs, blogging, or bloggers. It’s a huge phenomenon, and yet most blogs are utter shit” said Jason Reynolds, the study’s lead author. “Frankly, I can’t see why anyone would think that the world wants to hear about your stupid cat, or how much you hate your menial job.”

We interviewed Jennifer Arroyo, a local blogger whose blog was analyzed as part of the study. “Hey, I don’t care what the world thinks—my blog is for my family and friends and they love it” Arroyo told us over the phone. But when we interviewed Jennifer’s friends, her story didn’t pan out.

“Jenny’s website? Yeah she talks about it all the time. I went there once when I was bored at work, but honestly, I don’t need to read her rambling on about her experience at the grocery store. It’s bad enough I have to hear about it on the phone!” said an anonymous friend of Arroyo. Jennifer’s parents refused to comment on her blog, which was given a rating of 0 by comScore’s ranking system for its “total lack of interesting content and high content of mindless dreck.”