Absolutely Serious    

WASHINGTON, DC—The National Association of Schizophrenic Americans (NASA) announced their support today for Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign.

Catherine Grey, NASA’s spokeswoman, told reporters this morning that the Association looks for the candidate that has the most in common with people suffering from schizophrenia, the debilitating mental illness that afflicts over two million Americans, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.

“People suffering from schizophrenia often have violent mood swings and can change their thoughts and behaviors rapidly, often without warning. Mitt Romney is the candidate that most embodies the schizophrenic way of life” said Grey.

Many pundits have criticized the former governor of Massachusetts of “flip-flopping” for his abrupt changes of heart on issues like gay rights, immigration, abortion, and gun control.

The endorsement is expected to boost Romney’s growing coalition of mentally ill Americans. “Politics is all about playing to your base. Romney has really played up his erratic behavior, his unintelligible positions, and his creepy smile” said political analyst John Caspers.

“While most Americans see a power-hungry egomaniac, the mentally ill see someone that they can relate to. It’s a double-message, and it’s extraordinarily effective.”

Support for a Republican marks a change in political strategy for schizophrenics, who supported Democrat John Kerry in the 2004 presidential election. “This time around it was a no-brainer” Grey said. “The Republican party is clearly the choice of the mentally ill in 2008.”

With a key endorsement from NASA in hand, it’s believed that other mental illness groups, including the Association of Americans with Multiple Personality Disorder, will soon follow suit.